Putting the Soul
back in Psychology!
It is so worth it when you come through it!
The following is an example of how a Catholic applies the LHP Method of Lasting Healing Psychology© with any and all relational problems:
I immediately, without a conscious thought, became angry in reaction to my husband grabbing a pair of garden pliers out of my hand as I was in the process of using them appropriately, while he angrily told me I should not be using them on little things (which is exactly what he had told me to use them for), while saying that he has a machine, which he can use to do the work for me.
This is after telling me that he didn't have time to cut down a vine growing up the front of our house, that was starting to attach itself to the front door and screens. I cut it down in literally two minutes, which was the reason I was outside cutting weeds in the first place.
I immediately said in an angry tone, "You are being controlling and this was only about controlling me and not caring at all about my needs, as usual!"
{I was cutting short woody weeds out of the driveway gravel, which are too hard for me to pull up. I was cutting them because they scratch my dress shoes and ankles when I have to leave the house.}
Back Story: I had mentioned several times that I needed the weeds removed, I had offered and planned to pay a neighbor kid to do so, which my husband told me not to do, because I also wanted the kid to help me move some boxes inside the house that my husband said he could not help me move because of his bad back, but my husband also didn't want the kid in the house for fear of being robbed.
As I am walking away so as not to fight anymore or listen to what I didn't want to hear, my husband told me I was being evil and demonic.
I told him to stop projecting himself onto me, while still walking away. And repeated my first statement verbatim.
So my husband, in a charitable tone of voice says to me, "You can use your time better by doing something else." (meaning what he thinks I should be doing).
We have very large open windows throughout the house, so as I am still walking away and going through the house to get to my "home office" where I do my psychology work, he "charitably" continues in a suggestive tone..."You can help me take care of the pigs."(confirmation of what I knew he meant by the previous statement)
I angrily snapped, "You just proved my point!"..."This is all about you controlling what I do, only doing stuff to help you, and not giving a sh#t about my needs at all!"
Swearing, which I almost never do, was the red flag for me, which woke me up to how angry I was.
I knew that meant there was an evil spirit present and that I needed to stop speaking and immediately go and repent. And I had just formally confessed my impatience and anger toward my husband not more than a week ago.
I then went to my home office, locked the door and began to cry, mostly in prideful sorrow for how imperfect I had just been.
And as usual, my first reactive desire was to want to call my best friend and have a victim pity party complaining ("venting") about my husband in support of building my team.
My second reactive desire, as usual, was to leave and go live somewhere else away from my husband.
[Trying to run from or avoid emotional pain and suffering is futile and impossible and will only stuff it temporarily, because all emotional pain and suffering is coming from inside of us.]
Choosing to reject what I desired to do because I knew it was wrong, I started doing the True Psychology© Lasting Healing Psychology© (LHP Method).
While allowing myself to continue to cry, which is normal and healthy, and sometimes a part of the cleansing and healing process, I began the rest of the process...
Because I have been doing Lasting Healing Psychology for myself everyday for years and have all the various steps and technique memorized, this time I didn't need to ask The Divine (I use the names Jesus Christ / God) for self-awareness of how I was feeling this time, for I already knew.
I began with being remorseful and sorry for swearing and I started with the feeling of anger, doing the "7 Prayers for Interior Healing" for repentance and healing of my anger...In response to, "show me Your Truth...", Jesus reality checked me that I was over-reacting (which all human anger is) to the present situation, in fear of my needs not getting met, and therefore I was a hypocrite in being controlling trying to control my husband to stop controlling me and to control my husband to behave in Truth, Love, and Virtues, which I also failed to do.
[When we are over reacting to the present situation, which is usually the case, as Jesus has shown me before, this means my feelings and reactions have nothing to do what is happening in the present and are my "childhood wounds" (i.e. bad emotional suffering and false beliefs learned in childhood). This time, it was my childhood wounds of being physically controlled for irrational reasons and my needs (emotional and physical) not being cared about from both of my parents, in ways that they would have never known or been able to recognize.
I started the prayers...
Jesus I'm sorry I am angry that he grabbed the tool out of my hand and stopped me from doing the work I was doing, please heal me, fill me with Your Graces, Virtues, Love, and Truth to replace my anger, and show me Your Truth about my anger, Thank You Jesus for Your Healing, Truth, and Love.
Jesus I'm sorry I swear (proving evil spirits were there) and want to swear, please heal me, fill me with Your Graces, Virtues, Love, and Truth to replace me wanting to swear, and show me Your Truth about why I want to swear, Thank You Jesus for Your Healing, Truth, and Love.
Jesus I'm sorry I'm being a control freak in reacting to him, please heal me, fill me with Your Graces, Virtues, Love, and Truth to replace me being a control freak, and show me Your Truth about me being a control freak, Thank You Jesus for Your Healing, Truth, and Love.
As I prayed the "7 Prayers to Interior Healing" for each of the harmful interior intellectual acts (i.e. bad behaviors) that I was self-aware of, Jesus made me self-aware of more...
[Once we begin to be old enough to freely engage our intellect beginning as young as the age of 4, anger in all its degrees is always a selfish "control freak" emotion in humans. Selfish because we stop caring about the other person at all and/or are primarily caring about our wants while negating the need to be loving to the other person, no matter how they are behaving, for Love is never earned, deserved, or owed.]
Jesus I am sorry that I am being a prideful, selfish using, fearful, feelings blaming, control freak...
As Jesus helped me to become more self-aware of deeper chain-linked layers:
Jesus I'm sorry I feel hurt...
Jesus I'm sorry I am feeling sorry for myself (self-pity)...
Jesus I'm sorry I am afraid of not getting my needs met...
Jesus I'm sorry I don't want to accept (the reality) when others to try to control me, physically or otherwise...
Then "I realized", more likely I was reminded by Jesus and my guardian angel, that my favorite virtual live streamed Holy Sacrifice of the Mass was in 35 minutes, and since it is at a Shrine in the US where they have live streamed perpetual Eucharistic Adoration, that was even better. I turned on the laptop and began dong Eucharistic Adoration to continue with my healing process and with the plan to also prepare for the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, both of which I attend daily.
[It needs be known that I live in a 3rd world part of Mexico and combined with my physical ailments, me traveling the 45 minute one way distance daily for Eucharistic Adoration and Holy Sacrifice of the Mass in person, is not possible.]
The emotional pain and suffering I was feeling was just as intense as it usually is when it's a childhood wound...I felt intense deep grief and self-pity of feeling unloved.
I had to fight a little with myself to allow myself to remain in the feeling and grieve it while doing the prayers for "Healing the Memories" and "Forgiveness Prayers" toward both my parents, my spouse, and myself.
I began writing down all of the irrational statements and disrespectful behaviors made by my husband and how he was treating me (aka everything I was unhappy about, that I didn't like and saw as a problem)...
[This is the complaining and venting stage, which needs to be done with Jesus and on paper as a needed part of the process in order to become more self-aware of the deeper layers of absence of Truth/Love/Virtues (aka sins) within ourselves, including all the ones causing all of our sinful emotions and feelings. Writing it all down is also needed in order to see where and how we failed to set proper boundaries and communicate properly, so we can problem solve with Jesus by asking Him how and when to set the boundaries earlier / sooner in the situation and how to do so with better communication.]
However, the complaining and venting process, can also feeds our 1) blaming of feelings and 2) self-pity of 3) wrongly thinking that we are an innocent victim...Three sins, which I then recognized I was doing and began doing the "7 Prayers to Interior Healing" on each one of the these, along with repenting of and seeking healing of my over-reacting in general.
[Remember that "Sin" is nothing less than the absence of Truth, Love, and Virtues of The Divine, which we choose psychologically; intellectually; emotionally, and physically.]
Then the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass began and I grieved and cried deeply throughout the majority of the Mass, while seeking healing from Jesus of my feelings and childhood memories, while allowing myself to feel the emotional pain and suffering, and asking Jesus for His Truth about it. For me, this is not the first time this childhood wound has arisen.
[Every single layer within the memory of every single detailed situation of every single type of emotional pain and suffering has to be healed (replaced with The Divine's Truth/Love/Virtues) and because we have to consciously freely release and give it to The Divine (relive and grieve the emotional suffering), in order for us to allow Him to replace it with Himself (Truth/Love/Virtues), it is a temporarily emotionally deeply sorrowful process that unfortunately most human beings refuse to allow.
Instead, most people use all kinds of material bad coping, including but not limited to: psychotropic medications, work, food, alcohol, illicit drugs, smoking, entertainment, attention, media, masturbation, sex, and exercise, etc., to run from; distract from; i.e. stuff down the emotional suffering, where it grows worse and continues to negatively distort our perspectives and attitudes on everything daily, thereby directly affecting how we choose to interact with reality, whereby we cause ourselves to make the wrong decisions with just about everything. The emotional pain and suffering will eventually resurface (become triggered), where we will cause the cycle all over again of over-reacting to a present situation and blaming the externals, including others, for our emotional suffering.]
Childhood wounds boil down to feeling unloved. And since all psychological emotions and feelings are caused by what we have freely chosen to: be attracted to, like, dislike, want/desire, expect, believe, and think,...we feel unloved because we believe that we are completely unloved and loved by no one, which is always a lie.
[Taking to The Divine, through repentance (remorse) and grieving, while seeking Truth, Love, and Virtues from The Divine (i.e. Healing) to replace them, every detailed layer of being disrespected and unlovingly treated by adults as a child, (which evil spirits capitalized on to teach us the lie that we are completely unloved, which we have been subconsciously freely choosing to believe),...has to happen or we will never be free and become truly happy in this life.]
Because I stayed with Jesus focused on His presence, and actively allowed and worked through all 10 Steps of the Lasting Healing Psychology© Method, Jesus led me to reach the Bottom Line of the chain-linked layers of my freely chosen interior sinful (i.e. absence of Truth, Love, and Virtues) intellectual acts that were causing my emotional pain and suffering and leading me to habitually choosing exterior unloving reactive behaviors toward others' real or perceived unlovingness and disrespect:
Jesus I'm sorry that I want Love from others when they are not giving me Love (aka I am wanting what I cannot have), especially with whom I have a family relationship with, please heal me, fill me with Your Graces, Virtues, Love, and Truth, show me Your Truth about me wanting Love from others when they are not giving Love; Thank You Jesus for Your Healing, Truth, and Love.
Jesus I'm sorry I expect others to be perfect in always being Loving to me...
Jesus I'm sorry I am a hypocrite because I fail to always be Loving, especially when they are not giving me Love...
Jesus I'm sorry I don't want to be Loving toward those we are not being Loving and Respectful to me...
Then Jesus gave me the self-awareness and desire to ask, "Jesus please fill me with Your Love/Virtues/Truth, so that I don't NEED Love from others."
EPIPHANY!!! THAT'S IT!!! (The relief and Joy was immediate!)
Jesus I am sorry that I believe [the lie] that I NEED Love from human beings in order to feel Loved!!!...Rather than only seeking and receiving Love from You Who IS the source of all Love, Truth, and Virtues, and then prioritizing and focusing on giving Your Love, Truth, and Virtues to others, expecting nothing and worse in return!
In other words, Jesus I'm sorry that I am primarily trying to selfishly use other humans for Love, rather than primarily and only wanting to give Love to them, and expecting nothing but sin in return, while seeking the Love, Virtues, and Truth I need from You, in remaining focused on You every moment of the day.
This is the bottom line causing all of our reactive unlovingness and why we don't feel Love!
This Bottom Line Lie is why we try to get Love from other humans (try to make them Love us or make them Love others) in order to try to feel Loved. This always fails!...Humans have NO Love, Virtues, or Truth to give, when they are unloving!
Why are you trying to squeeze blood from a turnip?!
Why are you expecting different results over and over again from the same person?!
Why aren't you seeking from The Divine the Truth about what Boundaries to implement and how to implement them?!
Why are you focusing on the problem like a victim, trying to control and change the reality of the other person, or trying to only avoid, distract, and stuff your self-caused and self-inflicted emotional suffering, rather than looking for and doing the Solution...LHP Method: 10 Steps to Lasting Healing?!...
Because you are blaming them for your failure to feel Loved!
Why does trying to get from human beings, the sufficient Love that we all need, always fail?!
Because human beings are not and never will be the source of Love/Virtues/Truth. NEVER!
Only The Divine IS Truth/Love/Virtues!!! See,
Existence Of The Divine
Why Psychological Healing only from The Divine?
CONVERSATION WITH AN ATHEIST
Therefore no human being, including yourself, can give you enough Love, Virtues, and Truth for you to feel Loved enough!
Furthermore!...All of our psychological emotions and feelings are caused by our thoughts / beliefs, expectations, and wants / desires, etc. So when you believe you need Love and Truth from a human who is not giving it,...you make yourself suffer, while you wrongly blame your emotional suffering on the other human being who is not giving you what you want and believe you need.
(FYI: A human doesn't give Love, Virtues, and Truth only because they don't have Love, Virtues, and Truth from The Divine...For Love, Virtues and Truth to exist, the Love, Virtues and Truth has to be given; aka put into practice!)
When you want Love, Virtues, and Truth from a human who is not giving it to you, you make yourself emotionally suffer, while you are wrongly blaming your emotional suffering on the other person.
When you think / believe that another human is not giving Truth and Love / Respect to you, and you are wrong, but you think you are right, because you are the one without Truth and Love / Respect and therefore you are the one who is failing to give Truth and Love / Respect, you make yourself emotionally suffer, while you wrongly blame your emotional suffering on the other person.
You cannot always know if and how you are right or wrong, without every moment going directly to the Source of Truth/Love/Virtues Himself, in order to check and receive Truth/Love/Virtues, in order to even be able to know and see what Truth, Love, and Virtues really are.
Bottom Line
Marriage, and any and all relationship, are not about being able to get Love from the other person...All relationships of all types are about becoming Loving yourself! Because that is all you can control and all you are going to take with you when you leave this planet and face your Divine Maker, Truth/Love/Virtues Himself.
And even before you leave this planet, the less Loving and less Virtuous you are, the more unlovingness and lack of Truth you will have to compensate for through the consequences you will incur upon yourself, irregardless of how unloving and disrespectful anyone else is to you and others, or not.
No imperfect (sinful) human is ever an innocent helpless victim,
No imperfect (sinful) human is the savior, and
All imperfect (sinful) humans are always the persecutors of their own emotional suffering!
Stop the Blaming...Start the Healing!