My Journey

(Image by Ingo Jakubke from Pixabay.)

At the age of 18 when I left my parent's house, I fully rejected the

Catholic Church and everything that went with it, including God.

This was no surprise after spending my entire life being entertained and

indoctrinated by secular media, and the last 2 years of high school binge

drinking anything I could get my hands on and having 1-time drunken

pressured sex with my first "boyfriend", none of which I repented of, while

still receiving Communion every Sunday.

...The next year in 1990, I took an Intro to Psych class at

NC State University.  It was the first time I had ever heard of Psychology.

The first two lies of modern psychology and psychiatry I was taught were...

Lie 1. The Canonized Saints of the Catholic Church had hallucinations and

therefore were mentally ill.  Unfortunately I was thrilled to hear this.

Lie 2. Twin Studies, of twins separated at birth, show that "mental illness"

is genetic and you're born with it.

Many years later, I read the actual twin research study that the

book was claiming to show how psychological disorders are genetic

biological illnesses that one is born with.

The study was only an IQ study, having nothing to do with psychological

disorders and showed absolutely nothing to confirm their assumptions,

which were lied about by presenting assumed opinions as facts.

However, in reality there is a plethora of evidence through Twins,

especially those of cranial conjoined twins that prove psychological

disorders are NOT genetic and no one is born with them. 

While taking the Intro to Psychology Class, I became severely depressed,

suicidal, and began self-mutilating. 

I was given the idea (I now understand, from a demon), that the physical

harm to my body would stop my psychological emotional suffering.  And it

worked, but only temporarily, which is why I only did it once.

My depression was interfering with my daily functioning so I

sought help at the University mental health center.  Big Mistake. 

They tried to "help" me by preventing me from registering for classes the

next semester. 

It was not a pretty scene when I stormed into the center to confront the

counselor angrily and loudly in front of everyone. 

My classes were reinstated immediately. (Can you say fear of lawsuit?)

Not knowing what else to do, I self-referred to a psychiatrist who was

Catholic that I had baby sat for as a teenager.

I told him I wanted him to prescribe me Prozac (the newest fad

psychotropic medication at the time, which we had learned about in class)

and he also handed me a book titled "Mind Control".

I read it, obeyed it, and cold turkeyed myself off of the meds after

six months, without ever seeing the psychiatrist again, because both

SEEMED to "work"...of course all temporarily to keep me ignorant,

unloving/unvirtuous, and disobedient to and away from God...

The demons know what they're doing through the lies they teach...

Lord Jesus Christ please protect us.

The Book was lie number three.

Lie 3. You have the power inside of you, to think it to be it...

This age old lie is repackaged over and over...

From "Mind Control" it was called the "Land Mark Forum" in my late 20´s.

In my 30's, it was called the book, "The Secret".

And now it's Jordan Peterson the Canadian most famously teaching the lies.

The reason I thought it had worked and I was fine was because I was no

longer depressed...But I was still doing all of my addictions/bad coping,...

Of which I had at least 4 different vices at the time...alcohol, sex, marijuana,

and media,...

and eventually came along masturbation.

That leads us to modern psychology and psychiatry lie number four...

Lie 4. Addictions are a brain disease, therefore your identity is "an addict".

The Truth is that addictions are nothing more than bad coping idolatry.

We selfishly refuse to accept any temporary suffering...

so we choose to use the material to try to feel good and stop feeling

bad,

...which means we stuff our bad emotional suffering rather than going to

The Divine for Truth, Love, and Virtues which is what Psychological Healing

is, because the bad emotional suffering and all other psychological problems

are the absence of Truth, Love, and Virtues;

i.e. the absence of God Himself...

That´s why all material coping for psychological problems,

and addictions are "bad coping".

BTW...the lie...Your "Higher Power" is whomever you want he or she to

be...is a lie within the "12 Step Program",...

which only teaches you to transition from one addiction to another,...

thereby you remain addicted to something (bad coping and committing

idolatry) for the rest of your life.

Have you noticed the majority of those who attend 12 Step Programs are

addicted to smoking?

It is no surprise that people wrongly think they can never be completely

free and healed from their addictions.

I teach a program that I developed called,

the 10 Steps to Lasting Healing©...

using what I call the Lasting Healing Psychology© method

of True Psychology©...

where I teach how to permanently heal all bad emotional

suffering and addictions/bad coping/idolatry,

as well as all psychological disorders and struggles...

But before I developed this,...

around 1996, I transferred from NC State to UNCG.

And now I'm in the Behavioral Psych class...

where I was taught lie number five...

Lie 5. You will suffer from your mental illness for the rest of your life,

and therefore relapse is inevitable...

aka There is no Lasting Healing for any psychological problems, disorders,

addictions, etc...

[These are curses that they are teaching.]

I didn't want to believe that, so I protested and rhetorically asked,

Why would we want to become psychologists if we cannot help anyone to

be completely healed?

Thanks be to God, I would not accept that lie, because that is

hopelessness...

I'm not a helpless victim; I'm a problem solver...And that belief was

unacceptable.

Right then and there, I decided I wanted to find the solution for Lasting

Healing...

Praise God!

Jumping ahead, it's now 1999 and I finally graduated from UNCG...

and was accepted to FUS, Franciscan University of Steubenville, Ohio...

in their Graduate Counseling Program.

You need to know that I wasn't just a bad Catholic or a Non-practicing

Catholic, or a Cafeteria Catholic...I was anti-Catholic...

Why did I go to FUS?, because my father is a smarty pants and he

bribed me...

I might have been an idiot but even an idiot wouldn't turn down a full free

ride scholarship, all expenses paid, to achieve their dream career, and have

their brand new Mitsubishi Eclipse/Spider paid off to boot!

Now I'm at FUS...and I've only been here for 3 months and guess what,

the deep depression came back in full force,...

which interfered with me wanting to go to class.

I became desperate!

God knows that most of us have to suffer enough before we will want Truth

from Him...

And to "suffer enough" means either we are threatened with the lose of

something most valuable to us or we have already lost it...

and it can be different for everyone.

In my desperation I ran to my friend and classmates' apartment and

burst into tears...

something I tried to never do in front of others.

While crying I was begging her to help me...

But, Jeanine Jubeck, being a true New Yorker, was rightly not moved to pity...

and she said to me, I know what you need,

but I'm not going to tell you...

unless you promise that you will not argue with me and you will

obey exactly what I tell you to do. 

Boy was she good!

Of course I promised.

The advice was...

Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars and go straight to...

1. Confession – aka Repent of your sins

2. Start Praying

3. The Holy Sacrifice of the Mass  – and receive Jesus the Eucharist

4. Eucharistic Adoration

5. Counseling and Spiritual Direction from a Catholic Counselor

6. Stop getting drunk and stop having sex.

7. Read – “The Incredible Gift” by Keith and Tami Kiser,...

which is a book on chastity written for teens and adults...

the copy of which she handed me right there, and I still own. 

I highly recommend this book to everyone!

I got off easy, I teach the "10 Steps to Lasting Healing"...

Jeanine only gave me 7.

I didn't know how to do everything on the list, but out of fear I was

not about to ask, I was going to figure it out for myself...

But I kept my promise.

The first thing I did was go straight to Confession to...

Father Joe Lehman, TOR.

Fr. Joe (as we called him) was the only priest I had spoken to

since I was a teenager.

At that time he worked in the Christ the King Chapel's office...

and now he's the Minister Provincial of his Franciscan order.

After confession, he asked me a very Holy Spirit moved question,

"Are you looking for a religion & church where everyone treats everyone

well all the time"?

In all seriousness I answered, Of course isn't everybody?!,

Do you know where it is?!

(I'm asking a Catholic priest if he knows where it is! Eye roll!)

Fr. Joe was so kind he didn't bust out laughing...

Instead he said in all seriousness, No I don't know where it is, but if you

ever find it, never join.

In shock and horror I blurted out, Why Not?!

He said, Because if you join, then YOU'LL ruin it for everybody else.

My jaw dropped to the floor!

That was the first reality check on my prideful perfection that I had ever

been open to receiving from the Holy Spirit.

Praise God!

Remember how 3rd on my to do list from Jeanine was Eucharistic

Adoration?

I had never heard of this in my entire life!

So I didn't know where to go, but thank goodness I was on a

Catholic Campus where everyone else knew where the Adoration Chapel

was, called the Portiuncula.

For the 1st time I'm in front of Jesus in the Monstrance, and I'm

sitting their not knowing what to do.

Jesus meets us where we are, we don't have to know what to do...

we only need to show up, be honest, and be ourselves.

Then all of sudden I get the brilliant idea, which proves it wasn't

from me...to look at Jesus the Consecrated Host, and say to Him,...

Jesus they say this is really You, but I cannot believe it,...

I need you to show me.

Within what felt like seconds...I became overwhelmed with the feeling

coming from the Eucharist in the Monstrance that it was really fully

Jesus Christ...

I instantly knew I was feeling His Presence coming from the

Consecrated host in the Monstrance.

At that time it was the most amazing experience I had ever had.

I was feeling Truth...which at the time I couldn't understand...

You see, I am not a feeler personality type,...

and at that time I didn't know how to recognize an emotion or feeling in

myself if it kicked me upside the head.

I only had 2 feelings that I knew of...sober and not sober...

Anything else I was in denial of.

There are no words to describe the experience I felt.

The only way I can describe the experience is like when streams of light are

pouring down through the clouds and you hear the melodic

aaaaaaaawwwwwww that you imagine God's angels would be singing!

You'd think that experience alone would've be more than enough,...

but I was really clueless and sinful.

God is so Generous and knew I needed all the help I could get...

So that was not the last super natural experience I had.

At two other separate times when I was making the drive alone from

Hickory, North Carolina to Steubenville, Ohio through the Appalachian

Mountains on highway 77,...

all of a sudden I felt what I can only describe as an overwhelming

sense of ecstasy throughout my entire being....

...and I immediately understood that I had felt the perfect unconditional

Love of God.

And I experienced this again, one more time,...

the next time I drove that part of the highway.

I wish for everyone to experience the Love of God as much as I did!

Jesus also worked through Christopher West and St. Pope John Paul II's

Theology Of the Body to help me along with my conversions from lust and

its addictions to chastity, and to love and accept myself.

Christopher came twice to FUS while I was there (he was giving away audio

cassette tapes of his talks back then). 

The first time I attended his lecture, I was extremely skeptical and had

already prepared to challenge him on anything he would say I didn't like.

Boy was I prideful and arrogant!

To my surprise I had a conversion experience right there during his lecture

and began to cry. 

It was the first time I had heard anything good and loving; aka charitable

about being a woman and sex.

But I still had some questions and a lot to learn, so I followed all of West's

work from then on, which I highly recommend for everyone.

When Christopher finished and opened up the floor for questions I asked,

If everything you say is true, then what do you think about Nudist Colonies,

are they right and good?

Christopher being so humble, was excited about my question and told me

he had never thought about it, didn't know, and would think and pray about

it.

I was both impressed with his answer, and still pridefully thrilled that I had

"stumped" the expert.

After Christopher left the FUS Campus, the following day, one of my friends

who had been "working detail" to help Christopher came up to me and said

irritably,...

Thanks a lot!  Christopher never stopped talking about your stupid Nudist

Colony question the entire time he was here!  It's all he wanted to talk about!

I was thrilled!

I now know, and I'm sure Christopher does too, that it is very wrong for

humans to live in Nudist Colonies, because we are all, but one, sinners

prone to lust, and the Canonized Saints would have never been part of one

as we are all to AVOID the near occasion of sin and temptation.

Unfortunately for me, the following summer,...

no I didn't join a Nudist Colony!  LOL

I chose to go to LA for an ethics course (of all things) I was advised I needed,

to jump through more secular credential hoops,...

because I had planned to move to Southern Cali. after graduate school.

No sooner than I had arrived to LA, I immediately reverted right

back to behaving as if I had never reverted back to Catholicism or

experienced Jesus at all.  (This goes to show ENVIRONMENT MATTERS)

I was fortunate enough to stay in a strictly Orthodox Jewish neighborhood

in Beverly Hills with the sister of Sheila Kippley, an author and co-founder of

the Couple to Couple League, as her son Kip (as we called him) was one of

my dearest friends at the time.

When I returned to FUS three months later, by the Grace of God, I jumped

right back on the sanctification train...

...and began going to Spiritual Direction to both...

Father Kazimierz Chwalek of the MICs (Fr. Kaz as we called him)...

...whom until this year was the MIC Provincial Superior...

and I was also going to spiritual direction to the late Father Michael

Scanlan of the TORs while he was the Chancellor of FUS...

God rest his soul.

I also put myself into my own "inpatient treatment" in the best place

possible,...with Jesus in Eucharistic Adoration...

Where I spent a minimum of 2.5 to 4 hours a day...

along with daily Holy Sacrifice of the Mass and frequent confession.

All of which I still do to this day, however after over twenty years,...

I am in Eucharistic Adoration at least 1 hour a day apart from daily Rosary.

After learning and daily praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet from one of my

classes mates, Muffy Lewis, and beginning to read St. Faustina Kowalska's

Diary, as she had exploded into popularity due to her canonization at the

time, by then Pope John Paul II,  I learned how to listen to God speak to me.

(I didn't know at the time that it was called Contemplative Prayer.  I was simply trying to imitate what St. Faustina had done in her relationship with Jesus.)

In Eucharistic Adoration, I began asking Jesus everything I could think of

that I wanted to know:...

how to have a relationship with Him, how to personally pray, what to read,

how to listen to Him and to help me do so,...

to show me all my sins and how to be healed of them,...

show me all the lies I believe, and...

show me how to heal all bad emotions, psychological disorders, addictions, etc.

This is how I began learning what I call, True Psychology...and

developing the Lasting Healing Psychology Method that I teach

through my workshop or retreat called, 10 Steps to Lasting Healing...

which leads one in the interior spiritual life of Sanctification.

At the time I discussed with Father Scanlan what I was working on...

He was intrigued and very supportive.

Jesus and I work slowly and I didn't finish the work until after

Fr. Scanlan passed away.

But I know he knows about it now.

The last time I spoke with Fr. Scanlan on the subject was in April 2008...

and he sent me a card which I still have that reads,...

"Dear Lara, I remember you so well. Congratulations and I look forward to the book. Easter Blessings, Fr. Mike (Scanlan) TOR."

Remember how I said I began asking Jesus to show me all the lies I believe

and to show me how we can easily heal of all sins, bad emotions,

psychological disorders, addictions, etc...

That is how I learned how to recognize all the lies about Modern Psychology

and Psychiatry...

Which led to me recognizing lies number six, seven, eight, and nine...

Lie 6. Exterior facts and your chemical imbalance in your brain cause your

psychological emotions and feelings...

The Truth is that neither of these cause anything psychological, much less

our psychological emotions, feelings, attractions, desires, and other

psychological passions.

The Truth is that our intellect and free will of our Soul cause our

psychological emotions and feelings.

Lie 7. Psychology and Psychiatry are the study and healing of the brain.

(they sneakily say "mind", which they only define as the brain)

The Truth is that Psychology and Psychiatry are the study and healing of the

Soul as defined in the Greek and Latin...

...of which NO human has ever had the authority to change for any reason.

Lie 8. Psychological Disorders, Addictions, Homosexuality (in all it's forms)

and bad psychological emotions and feelings have nothing to do with

morality and sin.

The Truth is that they have everything to do with morality and sin, as they are

NOT caused by the brain, but rather intellectually freely chosen in the

Soul,...

thereby making them morally qualifiable.

Lie 9. The brain is the intellect.

The Truth is that our intellect and free will are powers of our Soul, which is

the form and animator of our brain/body.

Lie #9 is blatantly against Catholic teaching on the human person,

but even most Catholics don't to know this.

This is explained in the Summa by Doctor of the Church St. Thomas

Aquinas.

Aquinas' Summa needs to be mandatory reading for anyone studying

Psychology...

and proves that Modern Psychiatry is completely erroneous and

unnecessary.

Aquinas explained the Truth about Psychology before Modern Psychology

and Psychiatry ever existed.

Who started all of these lies?

No, it wasn't Freud...

(The only thing Freud's the father of is using cocaine to "treat" himself and psychological disorders.  Everything else Freud knew was from others.)

It took me investigating for almost 6 months to find out who the culprit

was...

His name is Johann Christian Reil...from the late 1700's...

during what my good friend Dr. Philip Blosser likes to call the

Endarkenment! (Laugh Out Loud)

Reil is the first proclaimed psychiatrist...

He was a German medical researcher with no education in psychology...

He was a Pantheist...a Secularist...and...

a Free Mason (surprise, surprise, surprise!)

The entire fields of Modern Psychology and Psychiatry are tools of

Free Masonry...(no surprise!)

Modern Psychiatry and Psychology are treated by the masses...

(including the Christian masses)...as if they are a religion...

Modern Psychiatry and Psychology are The Anti-Religion.

How are they treated like a religion?

The APA's (American Psychiatric and Psychological Associations)...

from where everyone and their brother wants accreditation and licensure,

and believes what they publish as if Divinely protected from error,...

is their Magisterium.

The DSM (Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders)...

is their Bible...(ps there is nothing statistical about it)

The Therapy session is their Confessional.

The Clinicians are their priests...AND

The Psychotropic Medications are their Blessed Sacrament.

Which leads us to Modern Psychology and Psychiatry lie number ten...

Lie 10. Only a formally educated and trained licensed "mental health

professional" can help those who have a psychological disorder,

addiction, etc.  Therefore, never go to any clergy, family member, or friend

for psychological advice.

This lie #10 was published throughout an entire article by the secular US

magazine called Psychology Today.

After I graduated from FUS I went to Sydney Australia with my plan to

permanently live and work there.

Before I left, I called, Matthew Kelly, one of my friends from FUS at the time,

to seek advice for my trip, as Matthew is from Sydney Australia. 

He was gracious enough, and rightly concerned enough about me going

across the world by myself, to connect me with his friends and

family while I was there.

While I was living in Burwood NSW, I attended the daily Holy Sacrifice of the

Mass of Fr. Gerald Gleeson at the Catholic Institute of Sydney.

Fr. Gleeson is now the Vicar General of the Archdiocese of Sydney.

My five months in beautiful Sydney, Australia was one of the best

experiences of my life, but God had other plans and let me know, both

through a book I was reading and by every employment and immigration

door I knocked on failing to open,...

that He wanted me to return to my home town.

Fr. Gleeson was kind enough to drive me to the airport.

After returning to Hickory, North Carolina in 2003,...

and dabbling in the local professional visual art and poetry world,...

with the likes of Bud Caywood, Vae Hamilton, and Pat Viles,...

I soon began working as a Licensed Professional Counselor in private

practice while volunteering at our local Women's Resource Center,

Pregnancy Care Center, and Parenting Network organizations, as well as

becoming very active in my parish, St. Aloysius Catholic Church, and

teaching Confirmation Faith Formation, among other things.

By the time 2010 rolled around, I had been privately studying demonology,

discernment of spirits, and Aquinas' Summa,...

which brings me to lie number eleven of Modern Psychology and

Psychiatry...

Lie 11. Demons, God, and the spiritual world don't exist.

I knew that I was still missing a major part of the Truth about aspects of

the causes of Psychology Disorders.

Specifically, I still had no evidence to prove that Schizophrenia

and Bipolar with Psychotic Features were not primarily biologically caused.

Having had no personal experience with them,...

I was particularly stumped by the hallucination aspect and still

believed that these were primarily caused by the brain,...

but I knew this was contrary to everything else Jesus had taught me about

True Psychology and Lasting Healing Psychology.

So I kept asking Jesus to show me the Truth about this.

My greatest sin is pride.

Therefore Jesus had to stop speaking to me directly in my intellect,...

because I became even more prideful, to the point of believing that I could

hear Him perfectly whenever I wanted without discernment.

Big mistake!

The demons jumped on that opportunity and...

That is when I became possessed,...

...be it mild possession.

There are 2 Types of Possession...mild possession and formal possession,

both of which are in degrees.

The possession came on gradually, so I was not aware it was happening.

Demons are not stupid,...

they don't want us to know any Truth, especially about their existence

and what they are doing to us.

Thanks be to God, I was only mildly possessed for two weeks!

And believe me that was long enough.

Because of the ignorance of everyone involved, including my parents and

both priests, one of them being a recent former spiritual director and the

other my current spiritual director at the time,...

I was involuntarily forced into a psych ward,...

which was nothing more than glorified baby sitting.

While in the psych ward, I was threatened and forced to take

anti-psychotic medication with the side affects of Tardiv Disconisha,

prevention of normal bowel movements, and weight gain.

I specialize in diagnosing psychological disorders and addictions,...

therefore I know what the behaviors are for them.

Being what is called "out of my mind" while I was possessed however,...

I had lost all self-awareness, memory, and the ability to critically think.

Once it was all over, I realized that I had been fully Schizophrenic.

I had experienced the hallucinations and psychotic behaviors of

Schizophrenia.

What I had experienced by the demon and how I had obeyed the demon

was similar to what John Nash had described with his experiences.

God rest his soul.

Nash was a famous mathematician, diagnosed with Schizophrenia,...

who won a Nobel Prize.

They made a movie slightly based on him called, "A Beautiful Mind".

The movie left out all of the important details of Nash's personal

experiences with demons while "schizophrenic",...

and other facts, all proving that Schizophrenia is not biological, has

everything to do with the demonic, and is healable.

After my possession I remembered that when I was at UNCG,...

I had a random thought go through my mind wondering how

I would be able to help people suffering from Schizophrenia since I

had never experienced it, unlike most of the other psychological disorders.

What a foreshadowing!

I frequently have to learn things the hard way,...

but thank you Jesus, I learned the last missing piece of information I

needed to finish my books on True Psychology and Lasting Healing

Psychology.

That leads us to lie number twelve...

Lie 12. Demons (evil spirits) have nothing at all to do with Psychological

Disorders, Addictions, or Homosexuality, therefore, psychotic behaviors

such as hallucinations are never caused by demons.

This lie #12, I now know is a lie from personal experience.

There are 3 Types of demonic influences we humans can experience that are

named by the Catholic Church:

Temptation, Obsession (oppression), Possession (both mild and formal),...

all of which are in degrees. 

Formal possession has nothing to do with psychological disorders,

addictions, attraction distortions, or gender confusion.

In all cases of psychological disorders, addictions, attraction distortions,

and gender confusion, the human being is being obsessed/oppressed by a

demon in some way and degree due to their own sins.

And in the cases of psychological hallucinations when sober, the person is

mildly possessed by a demon, which comes and goes.

One month after I stopped being mildly possessed I documented my entire

experience and posted it on my blog where you all can read it there,

https://theologyofthesoul.org/blog-portal-2-answers/the-time-i-was-possessed-by-a-demon

My blog is called, P.O.R.T.A.L...to relationship with Jesus...

It's my acronym for all the necessary aspects of communication in a

relationship with the Divine.

My blog is located on my website www.theologyofthesoul.org

P.O.R.T.A.L. are the 6 types of prayer:

Petition,

Offering Sacrifices (known as Penance),

Repentance,

Thankfulness,

Adoration, and

Listening (Contemplative Prayer)

I go into all of this in detail in my 10 Steps to Lasting Healing

workshop or retreat on the Lasting Healing Psychology Method© of True

Psychology© that I developed with Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, in order

to teach lasting psychological healing for all bad psychological emotions,

psychological struggles, psychological disorders, addictions, distorted

attractions, and gender confusion.