Putting the Soul
back in Psychology!
What psychology professionals don't know...about the so called "7 Stages of Grief".
The "7 Stages of Grief" are typically known as:
1. SHOCK & DENIAL
2. PAIN & GUILT
3. ANGER & BARGAINING
4. "DEPRESSION" & LONELINESS
5. THE UPWARD TURN
6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH
7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE
Real grief or to truly grieve the loss of a good, is holy, is in varying degrees of "temporary", and occurs separately from and has NOTHING to do with denial, self-blame (false guilt), anger, depression / despair, or loneliness and emptiness.
"Normal" correctly and originally means functioning according to the rules of what is objective goodness and truth, which would make these so called first 4 stages: denial, self-blame (false guilt), anger, and depression, including loneliness and emptiness...Abnormal.
Normal being defined as "what most people are doing" does NOT mean healthy nor holy; for we are all imperfect sinners.
Therefore we need to learn how to recognize what is sin (both interior and exterior) the difference between sin (absence of Truth+Love; aka irrational) and virtue...NOT make the comparison with what everyone is doing or not doing.
Every so called "stage" of reacting to the loss of something is our free will choice and therefore does NOT have to happen.
These so called "stages" do not just appear and disappear as if uncontrollable. You actually have to choose to have them and choose to go to Jesus the Christ for healing IF you have chosen to have the harmful ones.
The feelings of: denial, self-blame (for what you could not control), anger, depression/despair, loneliness, and emptiness...are all irrationally chosen by our free will and intellect, by many lies we have chosen to believe; thereby being the absence of Truth+Love, which is the definition of sin.
All of our psychological emotions are directly and ONLY caused by what we have chosen with our free will to: be attracted to, like, dislike, want/desire, expect, believe, and think.
If our emotions are harmful, that means that they are being caused by our chosen wrong; false+unloving: attractions, likes, dislikes, wants/desires, unrealistic expectations, false beliefs, and/or irrational thoughts.
Humility is the virtue from God that gives us the ability to want, recognize, and accept Truth+Love (including all virtues). This is why Humility is the primary specific virtue.
Denial is a refusal to accept Objective Truth+Love and Reality; i.e. God and His Will, which is pride and selfishness and being controlling based in what is false+unloving that we have intellectually chosen to believe and want. Denial is the absence of the Virtues of Humility, Trust in God and Acceptance of God’s Will.
Self-blame for what one cannot control is the sins of: pride, idolatry, and being controlling based in what is false+unloving that we have intellectually chosen to believe and want. Self-blame about what we cannot control is the absence of the Virtues of Humility and Acceptance.
Anger is throwing a temper tantrum about not getting my selfish way, being a control freak, refusing to accept the Will of God, a list of fears, and distrust in God. Anger is the absence of the Virtue of Charity, Humility, Acceptance and Trust in God. [Anger is not Righteous Indignation or Zeal; both of which are Virtues that Jesus the Christ exhibited]
Depression / Despair is a complete distrust in God (believing God is unloving or false in some ways with no facts other than your subjective perspectives on life to prove it, including but not limited to: God doesn't bring good out of everything, believing I have more Truth than God and I know better than God), hopelessness and self-pity (believing: my emotions are caused by external facts, there is no good about what is happening, nothing will ever get better, there is no solution that I have control over, the only way for me to meet my needs is to get what I want, and the belief that one is a helpless victim with no solutions; i.e. nothing I can do to help myself stop suffering)...all of these beliefs are the absence of Truth+Love (i.e. sins).
Depression / Despair is completely self-centered, while having a plethora of chosen false+unloving intellectual actions about: oneself, God, and how others relate to you, while refusing to think you are wrong about any of it (Pride). Depression is the absence of the Virtues of: Hope, Charity, Humility, and Trust in God.
Loneliness or Emptiness is simply feeling the void in our soul where we have been rejecting God; Truth+Love, and therefore, have been blocking God filling us with Himself; Love+Truth-Peace, Contentment and Fulfillment. Feelings of loneliness and emptiness are the absence of Close Friendship with Jesus the Christ and blocking/rejecting His Love+Truth, Peace, Contentment, Fulfillment, etc.
When we have any one of these sinful emotions from this list, or any other harmful emotion or other sinful: attraction, like, dislike, want/desire, expectation, belief, or thought, the ONLY way that these go away rather than being stuffed, is if we choose to directly and specifically tell Jesus the Christ:
1. "Lord Jesus I am sorry for..."
2. "Lord Jesus please HEAL me of this..."
3. "Lord Jesus please fill me Your Graces and Virtues to replace what you are healing in me."
4. "Lord Jesus please show me Your Truth about..."
5. "Lord Jesus please help me to listen to You and hear You."
6. "Lord Jesus please help me FORGIVE...; "I do forgive!", (whomever you need to: God, self, another, and/or a person who died)."
7. "Thank You Jesus!"
"Lord Jesus please help me feel and experience Your Love for me, Thank You."
"My Lord Jesus I’m sorry that I do NOT want Your Will, please heal me, so me Your Truth, and give me Your desire to want Your Will, Thank You."
"Lord Jesus Christ, I am sorry that all my perspectives and attitudes, priorities and judgments, and wants and desires, are wrong, please heal me, show me Your Truth, give me Your HUMILITY in order to recognize and accept Your Truth, and give me Your Perspectives and Attitudes, Priorities and Judgments, and Wants and Desires on everything, Thank You."