Putting the Soul
back in Psychology!
Venting...It's not what you think.
Wanting and needing to speak with another person for reasons such as, but not limited to, problem-solving a situation, gaining clarity, seeking an outside, unbiased perspective, searching for our own errors, bouncing ideas off another person, or obtaining support, comfort, and empathy are all good and necessary reasons to talk with someone about unpleasant or difficult situations we are experiencing.
However, whom we talk to about our problems and how we discuss them—especially when they involve other people—may not always be appropriate. In fact, discussing our problems with another person is often not done perfectly, especially if our primary intention is simply to vent.
When we "vent," as modern psychology and psychiatry call it, our main goal is to have someone listen to us complain about our problems while portraying ourselves as innocent victims who have done nothing wrong. We assume we are right in our perspectives and attitudes, often failing to provide all the relevant facts about what actually happened. As a result, when we "vent," we are committing at least the following 24 sins (understood here as bad behaviors or the absence of Truth, Love, and Virtues—i.e., the absence of God, who embodies these qualities):
1. Complaining
2. Failing to accept reality
3. Distrusting God
4. Rejecting God's will (which is always good) in situations beyond our control
5. Indulging in self-pity
6. Acting as if we are innocent victims
7. Scapegoating instead of becoming self-aware of our own sins
8. Blaming our feelings
9. Idolizing humans (including ourselves) over God
10. Misjudging or being judgmental
11. Making assumptions
12. Rationalizing that venting is always good and necessary
13. Holding unrealistic expectations
14. Perfectionism
15. Intolerance of imperfections
16. Impatience
17. Rejecting outcomes we dislike, whether good or bad
18. Selfishness in various ways
19. Indulging in sinful emotions such as fear, worry, stress, anxiety, anger, feeling offended, or upset feelings
20. Hypocrisy
21. Failing to forgive and/or harboring resentment
22. Pride in believing we are always right
23. Failing to offer our struggles as sacrifices for ourselves and others
24. Neglecting to seek proper discernment with God in searching for truth and repentance
Additionally, we may be committing other sins, such as dishonesty, disregarding the feelings and needs of the person we are complaining about, failing to communicate properly to resolve conflicts, creating triangulation, engaging in the drama triangle of false savior, persecutor, and victim roles, attempting to build a "team" against someone with whom we have conflict, gossiping, slandering, and committing detraction (damaging a person's reputation by revealing private truths that are unnecessary to expose).
For all these reasons, it is imperative that, along with seeking help from others, we primarily turn to God with our problems. He is the perfect source of Truth, Love, and Virtues. We must seek from Him to recognize our own errors, including any flawed perspectives and attitudes, and discern the best possible ways to resolve our situations. At the same time, we should repent of the fears and other sins that hinder us from doing so.
